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Chocolate, by Tanya Davis

My mother says it’s not a problem
this addiction to chocolate
at least i’m not an alcoholic
well, chocoholism is my business to deal with
and no, it’s not fermented
but it is still a condition 
 
I know i got myself in a position here
when it’s almost midnight and i can’t find any of it anywhere
and i’m willing to get on my bike
and ride
to the store downtown
with its 24 hour selection on the shelf
how it holds my affection when i hold it in my mouth
releasing seretonin, phenythalamine all get out

and every last piece i guarantee myself to cease this
this weakness that surrounds me
but, i’m still eating it
swallow it down until i’ve gone another round
and then look around
there’s only empty wrappers to be found

next time, ya, next time i’ll turn it down

but then next time fades the very next day
and i find myself ripping through the wrapper again
a different kind, another name, it doesn’t matter, it’s all the same 

I remember when it was a wunderbar a day
back in residence, studying, indulging in this way
peanut butter and chocolate all wrapped up together, why that IS a wonderful idea, i have to say
but it goes back way before this
like, in grade ten, i had to have it daily, a chocolate-for-breakfast fixi did inhale it
all twelve squares, so quickly and monotonousit was so milky and phenomenal

oh, those were the good mornings
first class, head rush, wired by it
as a hundred grams of chocolate went pouring from my stomach to my capillaries
through my bloodstream, to my brainand if i felt so inspired by it – i went back and got another one
i knew where the vending machine was

you see, chocolate was my saviour
broken heart? No problem, i’ve got these mini eggs here, whole bag of them (they were always a favorite of mine)all different colours and just the right size
pop ‘em in with rhythm and then realize
they were all gone
only then did i ever stop to think on what just happened
there i go, try to mend my aching emotions with a sugar rush of seretonin
but,it does work
at least for the time being
although, i must admit, i do remember sneaking too many pieces than my share
if it were ever set out to share, thinking
no one would notice, no one would care 

I guess i didn’t really stop to note that there are other chocoholics out there

where did it begin for you?We’ll share our stories in the sobriety of my living room
carob chips and juice to get us through
a meeting of too many memories and
what’s your favorite kind? It’s okay, we’re all here together
we’ll pull each other through this time

well, i prefer, well, i don’t know, what do you mean, you want names or something?
Just tell us how you feel
okay, i will…

if i had to get my fill up on any one kind i could probably not decide what kind to fill up on, i
have been in love with many a name branda flavour, a texture, a melt in your mouth, not in your hand
i have ravished hershey
cadbury has proven worthy
i used to dig rowntree now they have changed their name to nestle and i am not as interested
nevertheless, i used to dig a coffee crisp at the beginning of a flick
feed my need for caffeine and then finish itbefore the title even came on screen
truly, i used to dream of it
and wake up thinking of it
and i still do, believe me, but sometimes i think i consume too much of it
although sometimes not enough of it
like those nights when you just split up with the current love in your life and it’s tough
and you can’t stop crying
and the convenience store is really near by
and those family size ones would sure do the trick
the truth is i’d just sit outside
until i finished it
and buy another one for the walk home
and then crawl into bed alone
just me and my stomachache
try and concentrate
think about what went wrong but i just can ’t concentrate for long
with all the sugar i just ate
that’s the downfall so i guess it’s just best if it get moving on
get myself a healthy habit, like fresh fruit or an exercise ball
but i doubt that’ll happen

 

so i guess it’s just best if i don’t brood on this too long
all this talkin’ about chocolate has got me in the mood for some, after all
het is weer september

Zondag middag

Kolonisten met de onderburen

Kolonisten met de onderburen

Ge-kolonist met 2 huisgenoten.
Gezellig 🙂
Mathijs was een nieuwe kolonist, hence het simpele bord.
Volgende keer gaan we all out.